Rainy Tuesday

As I sit my lazy ass on the couch, I have laundry that needs to be washed, floors that need to be vacuumed, toilets that need to be cleaned, and linens that need to be changed. And I'm doing none of that. I'm watching crappy television, surfing the web, and sitting in pajamas.

I should be at the gym working out, organizing the mass chaos in my spare room, or at the very least working on a Christmas gift I'm assembling. But I'm not.

I had an uber productive weekend, full of wedding planning and yard work at my Mom's, followed by a day of Christmas shopping and an evening in the rain watching a terrible football game. My productivity went as far as the tuna sandwich I made for dinner.

A far as Tuesday's go, this one's been pretty lousy.

Self Reflected

I just returned from a two day work conference. A conference that entailed team building exercises, personal challenges, and tons of reflecting. A particular segment targeted stress--mitigating factors to alleviate stress and stress producers. The speaker touched on our personal reactions to stress and specific exercises we can do that will reduce stress in the short term. To paraphrase this portion of the conference would be to say that I am the only one that can control my how much stress is in my life and my reaction to stress. What I allow to affect me and to what extent is solely in my control. A symbiotic relationship exists between my level of stress and my quality of life.

I can't reduce the stress in my life overnight, nor can I improve my quality of life overnight. So the presenter asked we set goals, baby steps if you will, that will enable a greater balance between the two. The number one attainable goal on my list is to go to the gym more often. I NEED to start going to the gym on a regular basis again. The gym is a huge boost for me-- both mentally and physically.

The runner up on my list was spending more quality time with the boy. We share so much space together, but a lot of our interactions have little to do with our relationship. Much of our relationship exists with me on one end of the couch with my computer and he on the other end with the remote or video controller. Very little talking exists after 5pm in my house. I'm going to institute dinners at the table again, sans my blackberry (or his).

I walked away with a handful of other personal challenges. I, of all people, know I have growing to do. In my personal relationships, work relationships, and relationship with myself. This conference gave me the motivation to start the ball rolling in trying to achieve a few personal goals that were on the back burner. I'm anxious to report back in a three months or so my progress. I hope to have chipped more than just two goals off my list, but then again I'm taking baby steps. So any achievement will be recognized as that and not chastised for the size of the accomplishment. I'm on the warpath, but it's a good one.

Hindsight

Facebook is the ultimate stalking device. As I was perusing stalker central today I came across a facebook status that went from 'in a relationship' to 'single' and then back to 'in a relationship' in a couple days time.

The basis of the break up was a lie about something trivial but nonetheless the hurt party felt the lie strong enough to discontinue the relationship. I don't know the ins and outs so I'm passing no judgement. This is not their first break up, nor their second, and probably not their last.

It did propel me into a series of flashbacks of our relationship. Fighting in general is not fun. Making up after a fight...well that can be fun. Constantly fighting for the sake of fighting is just a toxic relationship. Especially when one party knows they can just say "fine, I'm done with this then" and the "at fault" party immediately caves. I knew things were getting serious, I mean really serious, when during one of our fights neither of us threw that phrase into the argument.

When you have that easy out, that go to play and you don't take it progress is happening. And I would imagine the above relationship just hasn't reached that level yet. The level when winning fairly means more than winning at all, or more so, admitting defeat because you're really in the wrong.

I can honestly tell you since we've taken that card off the table our relationship has been better than ever. Maybe it's because we know we're stuck with each other and fighting over something that doesn't really matter just isn't fun anymore. Maybe we don't care as much who's right or wrong, or maybe it's because we've matured a bit.

I don't envy their road ahead. It takes awhile to retire that play. It takes determination, dedication in a relationship, and some growing up to do. Though they'll never even read this post, I'm rooting for them.

Wacked Out Budget

The hardest part about being a twentysomething, or at least in my opinion the hardest part of being a twentysomething is budgeting. Or in our case, the lack there of. I thought we had somewhat of a budget down until I printed out our bank statements and went through each page to find out exactly why we were so poor 7 days into the month.


Fast food restaurants and coffee joints kill our bank account. In the last 10 days we've spent $174 at various ff places. Most people don't even spend that on food in one month, let alone 10 days. And I wish I could tell you we were fine dining but unfortunately dunkin donuts and starbucks and the eateries at our respective work places have pretty much monopolized our stomachs.

We are constantly struggling to maintain our twentysomething lifestyle while still putting a little money in savings each month. And I do mean little. More importantly, the boy and I have very different views on how much should (or shouldn't) be saved each month. He holds true to the belief that we're young and crazy and our bank account should reflect that. Being more of a pessimist, I'm worried about some sort of disaster rendering us homeless and hungry.

Needless to say our finances are a hot mess. We're searching for a middle ground, a young and adequately prepared center. So in a desperate attempt to compromise on our spending habits (I'm as guilty as he is), we're going to resort to good 'ole fashioned cash for food and bar purposes. That way when it's gone, it's gone. We'll have tangible evidence that we're staying in our budget, rather than guesstimating after each debit card usage.

We've also switched to a bank that will offer a little more than .89 cents interest each month on our savings account, will reward us for using our debit card (we're still going to use our card for gas, groceries, that kind of stuff), and will refund us for any atm that charges a fee. We're getting things together, slowly but surely. Budgeting for two is a helluva lot harder than budgeting for one. That is fo' sho.

I Heart the Fall

And here's why:

Less humidity- Hallelujah, my hair loses some volume

Everything pumpkin- Lattes, bread, muffins, cheesecake, scones, beer, I love it all. Beer the most. Okay, maybe lattes the most. Oh what the hell, they are tied.

Vests- Yes, vests. Yhey are perfect for this in between kind of weather

A warm cozy bed- This is a double edge sword. I absolutely, without a doubt, hate getting out of bed in the morning. but I sleep the best in a pocket of warmth that is my bed this time of year.

Boots- Hello boot season! I've missed you oh-so-much

Halloween- Halloween parties, halloween candy, costumes...yes and please!

Football- My house is already filled with smelly dudes drinking way too many carbs. But I wouldn't have it any other way.

Breaking and Entering

We had a weird night at our place last night. It started out at 5:30 when I came home to our house W I D E open. Let me preface this by saying I live with the Lock Nazi. He locks our screen door, our deadbolt, and our bottom lock most days just to go to work. He even turns the alarm on when we go to the bar. So, when I rolled in yesterday and the door was not just unlocked, but open, I naturally assumed he was home. When a white fluffy dog didn't come attacking my legs, I realized the boy had taken the dog to get a hair cut. I walked outside just in case the next Jeffrey Dahmer was in my house. As it turns out, he had just forgotten to shut (and lock) the door. About a half hour later we decide to hit up the Greene Turtle near our house. We walk outside, I look at him and he looks at me, as to say "Who's driving?". And guess what? We locked both sets of keys in the house. Ironic, considering not too long ago anyone could've walk right in.

About two months ago I watch my neighbor hoist his (maybe) girlfriend through their upstairs window to get in their locked house. I figured he could be of assistance. As I'm chatting with him about our predicament, the boy takes his credit card, and no lie, is in our house within 45 seconds. 45 seconds! Greeeeat. It's safe to say we'll be using that alarm every day now. And I too will be joining the Lock Nazi ranks.

Oh did I mention, we went to sleep with my keys still in the door? Yep, this morning the boy discovered them swinging away in the door as he left to take the dog for a walk. Strange evening indeed.

Marriage Counseling

The boy insisted on getting married in a little white church. In order to get married in a little white church, we have to go through their marriage prep. To say I dreaded last Saturday would be an understatement. The last thing I wanted to do for 4 hours on a Saturday was sit in a room and listen to some man (or woman) preach to me about how to be a better catholic. I was shockingly surprised. While bible verses and scriptures were thrown in every now and then, it was basically about how to better communicate. The church lady was "normal" and her husband joined half way through and they gabbed about how much they fought about money in the beginning, chores, kids, etc. It wasn't terrible. And they gave us free coffee and pastries. This weekend is round two and the topics of discussion are sex and money. This should lead into one helluva blog post next week. Good times.