Caps Tuesday

It's a standard Tuesday night. I'm camped out on the couch with my Mac, haphazardly paying attention to whatever the boy decides we watch on Tuesday night and browsing new music on iTunes. It's rainy, my stomach is full, and I'm debating between going upstairs to shave my legs or going to get socks because my feet are freezing. But I'll probably continue to sit here, I'm enjoying the sound of the dishwasher and a hockey puck being passed between men in very unflattering uniforms.

I realized my wedding is less than 7 weeks away today and I had a mini panic attack at my desk at work. After many deep breaths and a few paces from cubicle to cubicle I settled down. I don't know where this past year and a half went. I swear it was just yesterday I agreed to marry the person I love the most.  I still have not gotten my dress altered, only half of the men have their tuxes, and a slew of other small details have yet to be finalized but tonight, I'm just relaxing.

The dog is tuckered out from his play date with the neighbor dog yesterday and I'm full from the cookies she brought over to thank us, although the boy said he should thank her, my desire to get another puppy has been squashed. It was nice reaping the benefits of a puppy yesterday but sending her home at night. I forgot how exhausting they are. Fun but exhausting.

But for now, we're just going to hang. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!

Relaxing Vacay

I've been in Tampa Bay for the last 29 hours and it's been absolutely amazing! The weather is gorgeous, the company is great, and the dolphins are out in full force! I head out tomorrow and will honestly be sad to go. This is the most relaxed I've been in a loooooong time.

With a pending wedding and a ton of changes at work, this is exactly what the doctor required, a little r & r with a best friend.

Not looking forward to the sore arms tomorrow from tubing or the plane ride back to cold Baltimore. Heard on the news that Southwest grounded a couple dozen flights because of hole in the fuel tanks. Heres to hoping my flight home is painless.

Hello Again

What I like most about my blog, or any blog in general, is that it's a forum to rant. In nicer terms, a forum to vent. The last couple of weeks have been exhausting for me. Emotionally, mentally, and physically. Work has been nuts, my wedding is approaching and that's been nuts, and it seems like nothing is fitting together as it used to.

I was chatting with a friend today and he was talking about his struggle to meet new people in a town he moved to, to be with the person he loves. His job leaves little room to become work bff's with anyone and the awkward schedule he has with his significant other leaves little room to go out and socialize. Another friend is continuing their search for love. A prospective suitor has left them more confused than infatuated and more so another friend is searching for their calling in life. Stuck between a job they love and the limited possibility that this dream job could turn into a steady career, this has them struggling to find a middle ground.

I think back to when jobs filled the hours between class and the next social outing, boy/girlfriends came a dime a dozen (not for me per se but you get the point), and friends consumed more time than any other activity and I laugh. I wish I could hit rewind and spend less time worrying about "growing up" and more time  focusing on how awesome it is to have little responsibility. Life is not terrible right now. In fact it could be far worse.  I still have a job I love. I'm still getting married to the man I love. And I'm still in a house that I mostly love (I can't wait to get rid of the carpets). But I can say I'm ready for this roller coaster to stand still for just a moment or two. I'd like to catch my breath.

Summer, Summer

Reasons I heart Summer:

1.  Coldstone. Eating ice cream is just not appropriate when it's snowing outside. Peanut butter cup perfection. Yummmm.

2.  Decktop drinking. Blue moon + deck + summer night = damn near perfection.

3.  Orioles baseball. Yeah they sucked last year. Here's hoping to a better season. Or at least some delicious sausages.

4.  Jogging outside. I'm itching to get off the treadmill and back onto the pavement.

5.  I won't need a parka to wait an hour to get into Blue Moon Cafe. Capt'n Crunch French Toast is totally worth it, though.

6.  I'm getting married in June. And I am more than I ready for it to be here.

Unused Bathroom

I heart Diamondbacks. Sober, it's probably a little hole in the wall with outdated posters and college night specials (although, I've never seen the inside sober). Drunk, it is the mecca for dancers, drinkers, and everyone in between. The DJ is more than decent and the drinks are moderately priced. It's a disaster good time waiting to happen.

We started Saturday night off with what seemed like a mile journey in the blistering cold to the first bar we visited- the Judge's Bench. While the beer was delicious, the crowd was of the Bruce Springsteen generation. While I have no qualms with Bruce's music, I don't necessarily want to spend my Saturday night with his peeps.

We migrated down the street to Diamondbacks and the night took a turn for the better. Randy Jackson's ABDC couldn't touch my dancing abilities (nor would they have wanted to...)but anyways...
All was well until the barkeep started flipping the lights signaling the age old "you don't have to go home but you have to the eff outta hereism". And actually it wasn't even then when the night started to head downwards.

.2 of a mile away from our house, where two perfectly usable bathrooms exist, I decided to ralph all down the side of the car that was transporting me home. Not just a wretch or a dry heave, but a full scale attack down the side of a harmless car. Of course, when I tried to clean the car off with a bottle of water, it just froze. It is just barely 10 degrees outside mind you. The boy cleaned the car off with his own devices and all I will say about that is - he was creative. Inside the house, where the two perfectly unused usable bathrooms exist, I proceeded to slip down our steps leaving me with a large bruise and a very sore ass the next morning.
Not one of my finer moments. But I did have a great time hours earlier with some pretty awesome folks.

Until next time...

Pantless Weekend

Last week I was itching for Friday to get here because I knew we had a three day weekend and oh what a three day weekend I planned for it to be. I envisioned a weekend of pajama pants, showerless days, lots of crappy television, good food, and even better company. And then it all went to shit.

Our empty weekend piled up with invitations to parties, dinners, and various errands we put off doing for way too long. We divided and conquered everthing we had to attend/get done which left for one day in our three day weekend to relax.

Spicy garlic wings and nachos, football, and a little How I Met Your Mother. Sunday we did nothing but veg out on the couch. It was amazing.

Monday picked back up with a trip to the mechanic, Petsmart for the dog, the mall for the boy, and loads of laundry and general upkeep.

I'm holding out for another true pantless weekend. One with pajama pants, showerless days, crappy television, good food, and good company.

No Question

I had a spur of the moment lunch with a group of coworkers yesterday at Miss Shirley's in Baltimore. It was uhhhhh-mazing. With my wedding just a mere 4 months away, we chatted about the planning, etc. One of my coworkers offered up three pieces of advice for a 'perfect' wedding day. Marry the right man, look pretty, have someone take a picture of you looking pretty.

On my drive home from work I thought about those three simple points. While it's my goal to look pretty and have someone take a picture of me looking pretty, I can't tell you with a 100% certainty that's going to happen. I can tell you with a 100% certainty that I'm marrying the right man.

The boy and I have dated for almost half of our lives. We started going to school together in the 6th grade and by the 7th grade our names were synonymous with one another. Almost every person that finds this out questions our decision of marriage after having dated so few people. I always laugh. Our relationship has not exactly been a walk in the park. We've split up more than once, dated other people, played games with one another's feelings, hated one another, and loved one another. We started dating as kids and had to learn how to 'date' as adults. And not only did we have to learn to grow as individuals, we had to learn to grow with one another.

In 2007 when we split for what felt like the billionth time, I packed up and moved on with life. It was hard. Harder than I ever imagined, but I was managing. And one tiny event resulted in life changing decisions. I ran out of ink. That is the simplest way to say it. My printer ran out of ink. It just so happened to run out of ink the night (well at 2am) before a 30 page final paper was due. I picked up the phone and instinctively called him. Not the dude I was dating at the time, not the roommates 5 feet down the hall, but him. Without even thinking about it. When he answered the phone I was dumbstruck. I apologized for calling so late, explained that I hadn't meant to call him, that I was having an issue with my printer, and that I'd figure it out. He told me to put a coat on, he'd go with me to the 24 hour CVS to get some ink.

A dialogue continued between us for the next week or so. I knew I was wasting time with the guy I was dating, both his and mine, and broke it off . I didn't break up with dude because of the boy, I broke up with dude because I knew it wasn't going anywhere and it wasn't fair to either of us, in all honesty I had been toying with it for awhile. The boy and I developed a friendship during the coming months, a genuine friendship. If you ask him now, he claims he was "wooing" me. Everything was easy. There was no fighting, no arguing, no complaining. It was just two people hanging out having a good time. Eventually the boy got tired of the gray that was our relationship. He wanted something more. And so began the start of a new, old relationship.

Don't get me wrong, we still fight, we still argue, we still complain. But this time it's different. Maybe there's a level of respect and understanding now that wasn't there before. Maybe absence did make the heart grow fonder. Or maybe we're both in the right place for the first time. But whatever it is, there is no doubt in my mind I will grow old with him.

Snow Already

For the past month the weather forecasters have predicted various of amounts of snow and I'm convinced there is a direct correlation between the amount of snow predicted and distance away of the storm. For example, a week before the snow storm the weatherman has my house 5 feet under snow and is warning me to take stock in Wonderbread for the next 3 months. A day before the storm I'm told I'll be lucky to see a dusting in the morning. Get it right weather dude. I'm tired of being disappointed.

Not that I want a barrel of snow again this year, but I would like a day or so off, and not just to lay on the couch, unshowered, stuffing my face with junk. I'd reorganize, clean, and get things back to the way they were pre-Christmas.

Meanwhile, the new year resolutions are going well. I've not reunited with the gym yet but I haven't had a soda since January 1 and I'm doing pretty well at cutting out the junk. I've spoken with one of my brother's pretty regularly and have called the other a couple of times.

I'm hoping to be able to post pictures of this looming snow storm in the next couple of days, but I'm not holding my breath.

Resolutions Galore

2011 is going to be a pretty big year for the boy and I. We're getting married after all. But 2010 was just as big. We grew individually, we grew as a couple, and we expanded--into our very own home. I strengthened some relationships, let go of others, and made a few new friends along the way. Even though 2010 started out rough (someone did steal my wallet 3 days in) it was a good year.

My resolutions in the past have been fairly successful so this year I'm challenging myself, I've decided this year I need to tap into my spiritual side. I'm not defining spirituality, not right now anyway, so we'll see how it goes.

I have a couple other goals to achieve for 2011 like becoming friends with the gym again, at least twice a week, staying in better contact with my brothers, and the renovation of our house. All very attainable, just a little determination needed. I have a feeling 2011 is going to be just as good as 2010.

Happy New Year!!

Christmas Shenanigans

Last night as the boy and I were climbing into bed I reminded him to enjoy his slumber a little extra because the next three days are going to be insane for us. Tonight we trek two hours south to celebrate Festivus with a group of our high school friends. Tomorrow will be split amongst our two families, with multiple stops to his parents, my grandmother's, church, and finally my Mom's. I have a large extended family so my grandmother's will be packed with peeps, young and not so young. My Mom's house will be filled with tiny footsteps, it's Christmas tradition my brother and his family spend Christmas Eve at Mom's.

Christmas day we have a full line up as well. The gift giving will commence as soon as the little one's open their eyes, followed by a HUGE breakfast at the boy's aunts house (hello sausage pinwheels!!), and then dinner at the boy's parents house. The pending snow might derail our Sunday plans to spend Christmas with my Dad in Virginia but I guess we'll play that by ear Saturday night. As much as I love SoMar, I would much rather be snowed in at my own house.

The boy and I already exchanged gifts (we do Christmas early every year) and I must have been extra good this year...or maybe extra naughty...because he definitely outdid himself. He replaced my stolen Tiffany's ring and I'm the owner of a brand new Flip camera. I scored a signed Redskins helmet for him and a couple other small things.

I hope your Holiday travels are less stressful than ours!! Merry Christmas!

First Snow

Our first snow fall started this morning around 11am. We didn't get a ton but the one or two inches we did get makes the the trees look very christmasy. It also created chaos on the commute home, a 12 mile trip took almost an hour and a half. And I wasn't even in rush hour.

I'm getting a little more into the Christmas spirit. I finished up the boy's gift today and have just a few more things to pick up before I can say I'm done for this year. My Christmas work party is tomorrow and I still have to pick up a gift for the chinese gift exchange. Looks like I'm going out on my lunch break tomorrow.

Saturday I'm headed to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. The boy and I are going ice skating at the Mall and then to the White House (along with everyone else and their Mom) to check out the Christmas decorations. Good times.

And now to curl up on the couch with a white fluffy dog to enjoy the Big Bang Theory.

She's 1

A year ago yesterday I was pacing back in forth in a hospital room, complaining about terrible cafeteria food, and arguing with my brother about who was getting the last piece of the only edible food in the room; an orange. My sister-in-law was laying in a hospital bed scowling at us both because the only thing she was allowed to "eat" was ice chips. A couple hours later a dark haired, very tiny baby, was born. She was rushed away before we could hold her. She was born with Down's Syndrome and inherited the usual complications of a Downs baby. Tubes were hooked up and nurses and doctors swarmed her little incubator. We were allowed to touch only her hands and feet before they flew her to a hospital with a more established NICU.

A year later, we have a happy, mostly healthy, thriving baby. She laughs (especially at her Daddy), coos, can roll from front to back and back to front, loves to play with toys, and looks super cute with with her hair in a pony tail. Happy 1st Birthday Alexis! We love you more than you could possibly imagine.

A whole year old!!

7 months old

3 months old

A day or so old

Holiday Unspirited

This is our first Christmas in our new house. I envisioned lots of decorations, fresh baked cookies and a huge tree...ya know, all things that most people cringe over. The time came to christmasify our house and I was totally lackluster about it. Our tree is nice but it's not huge. It's in our basement because it doesn't fit in our living room and the boy and I bickered pretty much the whole time putting it up. We have a few decorations stuck here and there though there's no real flow to them. The boy refuses to put lights outside which is a total bummer, even though his reasoning makes sense.

It's just definitely not how I pictured our first Christmas in our house.

Oh another note, I'm hoping to escape down to Florida for a few warm days, if my budget allows, after Christmas to spend some time with a girlfriend.

Happy Hours

Happy hour is one of my favorite activities and not because of the drinking. I love the camaraderie that happy hour spurs. People from all walks of life drop into bars for cheap drinks and inexpensive appetizers as they're passing through from one destination to another. One large team looking to wrap up their day at the end of a tall drink.

A pair of gentlemen to my right were chatting about his impending engagement, discussing the different rings he looked at for his future (hopefully) wife. A group of girls in the corner were giggling about God knows what, but promptly left at 7 when happy hour ended. The older gentlemen to my right, a former FBI agent turned liaison for the Maryland State Police, chatted my coworker and I up for the better part of our happy hour(s). Unfortunately, my friend and I did most of the talking, and I know little about him. Get a few drinks in me and I'll talk myself silly.

As I was driving home, I reran the montage of people I've met (or observed) at happy hour over the course of my...happy hour escapades. There is always one or two individuals that look like they're trying to drown their sorrows from impending doom, another couple looking too friendly at a private corner table, and the one or two strays that are at the bar by themselves, looking to pass time before heading home, alone or otherwise.

My blue moon was flat tonight so I had to settle for an old school Coors Light in the bottle. Boy, have my beer tastes changed. But that's for another post I suppose.

Rainy Tuesday

As I sit my lazy ass on the couch, I have laundry that needs to be washed, floors that need to be vacuumed, toilets that need to be cleaned, and linens that need to be changed. And I'm doing none of that. I'm watching crappy television, surfing the web, and sitting in pajamas.

I should be at the gym working out, organizing the mass chaos in my spare room, or at the very least working on a Christmas gift I'm assembling. But I'm not.

I had an uber productive weekend, full of wedding planning and yard work at my Mom's, followed by a day of Christmas shopping and an evening in the rain watching a terrible football game. My productivity went as far as the tuna sandwich I made for dinner.

A far as Tuesday's go, this one's been pretty lousy.

Self Reflected

I just returned from a two day work conference. A conference that entailed team building exercises, personal challenges, and tons of reflecting. A particular segment targeted stress--mitigating factors to alleviate stress and stress producers. The speaker touched on our personal reactions to stress and specific exercises we can do that will reduce stress in the short term. To paraphrase this portion of the conference would be to say that I am the only one that can control my how much stress is in my life and my reaction to stress. What I allow to affect me and to what extent is solely in my control. A symbiotic relationship exists between my level of stress and my quality of life.

I can't reduce the stress in my life overnight, nor can I improve my quality of life overnight. So the presenter asked we set goals, baby steps if you will, that will enable a greater balance between the two. The number one attainable goal on my list is to go to the gym more often. I NEED to start going to the gym on a regular basis again. The gym is a huge boost for me-- both mentally and physically.

The runner up on my list was spending more quality time with the boy. We share so much space together, but a lot of our interactions have little to do with our relationship. Much of our relationship exists with me on one end of the couch with my computer and he on the other end with the remote or video controller. Very little talking exists after 5pm in my house. I'm going to institute dinners at the table again, sans my blackberry (or his).

I walked away with a handful of other personal challenges. I, of all people, know I have growing to do. In my personal relationships, work relationships, and relationship with myself. This conference gave me the motivation to start the ball rolling in trying to achieve a few personal goals that were on the back burner. I'm anxious to report back in a three months or so my progress. I hope to have chipped more than just two goals off my list, but then again I'm taking baby steps. So any achievement will be recognized as that and not chastised for the size of the accomplishment. I'm on the warpath, but it's a good one.

Hindsight

Facebook is the ultimate stalking device. As I was perusing stalker central today I came across a facebook status that went from 'in a relationship' to 'single' and then back to 'in a relationship' in a couple days time.

The basis of the break up was a lie about something trivial but nonetheless the hurt party felt the lie strong enough to discontinue the relationship. I don't know the ins and outs so I'm passing no judgement. This is not their first break up, nor their second, and probably not their last.

It did propel me into a series of flashbacks of our relationship. Fighting in general is not fun. Making up after a fight...well that can be fun. Constantly fighting for the sake of fighting is just a toxic relationship. Especially when one party knows they can just say "fine, I'm done with this then" and the "at fault" party immediately caves. I knew things were getting serious, I mean really serious, when during one of our fights neither of us threw that phrase into the argument.

When you have that easy out, that go to play and you don't take it progress is happening. And I would imagine the above relationship just hasn't reached that level yet. The level when winning fairly means more than winning at all, or more so, admitting defeat because you're really in the wrong.

I can honestly tell you since we've taken that card off the table our relationship has been better than ever. Maybe it's because we know we're stuck with each other and fighting over something that doesn't really matter just isn't fun anymore. Maybe we don't care as much who's right or wrong, or maybe it's because we've matured a bit.

I don't envy their road ahead. It takes awhile to retire that play. It takes determination, dedication in a relationship, and some growing up to do. Though they'll never even read this post, I'm rooting for them.

Wacked Out Budget

The hardest part about being a twentysomething, or at least in my opinion the hardest part of being a twentysomething is budgeting. Or in our case, the lack there of. I thought we had somewhat of a budget down until I printed out our bank statements and went through each page to find out exactly why we were so poor 7 days into the month.


Fast food restaurants and coffee joints kill our bank account. In the last 10 days we've spent $174 at various ff places. Most people don't even spend that on food in one month, let alone 10 days. And I wish I could tell you we were fine dining but unfortunately dunkin donuts and starbucks and the eateries at our respective work places have pretty much monopolized our stomachs.

We are constantly struggling to maintain our twentysomething lifestyle while still putting a little money in savings each month. And I do mean little. More importantly, the boy and I have very different views on how much should (or shouldn't) be saved each month. He holds true to the belief that we're young and crazy and our bank account should reflect that. Being more of a pessimist, I'm worried about some sort of disaster rendering us homeless and hungry.

Needless to say our finances are a hot mess. We're searching for a middle ground, a young and adequately prepared center. So in a desperate attempt to compromise on our spending habits (I'm as guilty as he is), we're going to resort to good 'ole fashioned cash for food and bar purposes. That way when it's gone, it's gone. We'll have tangible evidence that we're staying in our budget, rather than guesstimating after each debit card usage.

We've also switched to a bank that will offer a little more than .89 cents interest each month on our savings account, will reward us for using our debit card (we're still going to use our card for gas, groceries, that kind of stuff), and will refund us for any atm that charges a fee. We're getting things together, slowly but surely. Budgeting for two is a helluva lot harder than budgeting for one. That is fo' sho.

I Heart the Fall

And here's why:

Less humidity- Hallelujah, my hair loses some volume

Everything pumpkin- Lattes, bread, muffins, cheesecake, scones, beer, I love it all. Beer the most. Okay, maybe lattes the most. Oh what the hell, they are tied.

Vests- Yes, vests. Yhey are perfect for this in between kind of weather

A warm cozy bed- This is a double edge sword. I absolutely, without a doubt, hate getting out of bed in the morning. but I sleep the best in a pocket of warmth that is my bed this time of year.

Boots- Hello boot season! I've missed you oh-so-much

Halloween- Halloween parties, halloween candy, costumes...yes and please!

Football- My house is already filled with smelly dudes drinking way too many carbs. But I wouldn't have it any other way.

Breaking and Entering

We had a weird night at our place last night. It started out at 5:30 when I came home to our house W I D E open. Let me preface this by saying I live with the Lock Nazi. He locks our screen door, our deadbolt, and our bottom lock most days just to go to work. He even turns the alarm on when we go to the bar. So, when I rolled in yesterday and the door was not just unlocked, but open, I naturally assumed he was home. When a white fluffy dog didn't come attacking my legs, I realized the boy had taken the dog to get a hair cut. I walked outside just in case the next Jeffrey Dahmer was in my house. As it turns out, he had just forgotten to shut (and lock) the door. About a half hour later we decide to hit up the Greene Turtle near our house. We walk outside, I look at him and he looks at me, as to say "Who's driving?". And guess what? We locked both sets of keys in the house. Ironic, considering not too long ago anyone could've walk right in.

About two months ago I watch my neighbor hoist his (maybe) girlfriend through their upstairs window to get in their locked house. I figured he could be of assistance. As I'm chatting with him about our predicament, the boy takes his credit card, and no lie, is in our house within 45 seconds. 45 seconds! Greeeeat. It's safe to say we'll be using that alarm every day now. And I too will be joining the Lock Nazi ranks.

Oh did I mention, we went to sleep with my keys still in the door? Yep, this morning the boy discovered them swinging away in the door as he left to take the dog for a walk. Strange evening indeed.